Walking on the Moon

This is a blog that I wrote on June 23, 2008:

A few months ago, XM was playing a channel that was all Michael Jackson, all the time, for a month, in honor of Thriller's 25th anniversary. I then went on a Michael Jackson binge for a while, which was recently resurged.

I have realized that every single Michael Jackson song eventually devolves into gibberish. Example: the end of "Black or White" finds MJ singing

Iss Blaa, Is Whii, Iss Blubba doo, yeah yeah yeah.

It is practically inevitable. The best example of this, and perhaps the quickest to take that turn onto the incomprehensible highway is the song "Wanna Be Starting Something." This one goes like this:

Say you wanna be startin somethin'
you got to be startin' somethin'
Say you wanna be startin' somethin'
you got to be startin' something

Too high to get over (yeah yeah!)
Too low to get unda (yeah yeah!)
Ya stuck in the middle
And a remby blemba...

The first verse goes:

Took my baby to the doctor
wit a hee dimba dumba da he dumb.

This is brilliant. The man has no need for coherency to sell a record. I mean take even the lyrics that are distinguishable, like "Thriller":

Cause this is Thriller!
Thiller night!
Girl, I can scare you more than any ghoul would ever dare try!

What? Why does Michael want to scare girls? Like if it was, "Hey this is scary, but you can cuddle with me," that would be a pop song that makes sense, but this is is a plain enigma! That goes against the very equation of pop!

Why, Michael?

And yet, when we listen to it, why does it make such sense to us?

Here is one more gem:

Beat It! Beat It!
No is the heed a heed it!
Tell them hot hocky
Tell them no bites
It doesn't matter
who's wronga right.

My conclusion is that Michael Jackson hyp-mo-tized us all with his gibbery lyrics and sweet dance moves. I am still not immune to the infectious jammin' on the one grooves of 80's and 90's MJ. I am not afraid to admit it, and I think most if not all of you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Wit a hee dimba dumba da he dumb.

Thanks, Michael.